My sweet little tiny baby girl was born on the 5th of Oct 2012 around 5:25 pm … I had some complications & had to go with C-section to get her out (another post will follow about my delivery at Alseef hospital).
I woke up in pain & feeling dizzy … started mumbling some stuff & started saying sm words to my family members who were there! Of course they started laughing at me :P …. They showed me her picture that they took when they showed her to my family & honestly I got scared … I mean, she looked so tiny, small, & short. She looked really scary.
Next morning, I asked for her, & they told me that I have to go to NICU & see her. What’s NICU? Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. My heart started beating & I got terrified, smth is wrong with my baby. They assured me there’s nothing wrong with her except that her weight is below average & she has to be under observation. I just started walking, & I’m telling it was really painful but I didn’t care about the pain because I was dying to see her … She was sooooo thin & tiny but healthy el7mdellah!
I returned home 2 days later & the big action started … When I was in the hospital, people were taking care of me, but when I got back home I had to take care of a very fragile baby, not to mention taking care of myself. Thank god my sister took 2 weeks off from her work & was there to help me through this tough phase.
I was so scared to touch her, changing her diapers was really hard coz I was still in pain from my c-section & in the same time i was trying very hard not to harm her. But it was fun :P
Staying up all night long feeding her every 2 hrs, & snoozing while doing it lol :P Not being able to sleep properly because of the wound. Getting up/off the bed was really really painful you can’t imagine the pain. & I had to get myself up every now & then at night to feed her … It was really exhausting & painful but worth it.
Post-pregnancy depression kicked in the minute I got back home … I started crying for no reason at all. I keep looking at my baby’s face & cry for hrs … I went to my apartment (which is in the same house, dad’s) & felt overwhelmed, I wanted to go back home, return to my apartment. I keep calling my aunt crying telling her that I want to go back home :P
Talking about “me time” … dream on new moms :P I have to find some one to watch her so I can take a quick shower. I check social media networks through my phone for a couple of minutes. Only today, I was able to open my laptop, write a post & arrange some of my baby’s pictures :) me time is no longer mine ….
The wound started to heal, pain is becoming less now & I’m able to sleep properly like an hr every 4 hrs ;) my body started coping with the little amount of sleep. I dunno about the depression, when will it go away, but I’m hoping soon nshallah!
I know this is only the beginning … more to come nshallah :D