My sweet little tiny baby girl was born on the 5th of Oct 2012 around 5:25 pm … I had some complications & had to go with C-section to get her out (another post will follow about my delivery at Alseef hospital).
I woke up in pain & feeling dizzy … started mumbling some stuff & started saying sm words to my family members who were there! Of course they started laughing at me …. They showed me her picture that they took when they showed her to my family & honestly I got scared … I mean, she looked so tiny, small, & short. She looked really scary.
Next morning, I asked for her, & they told me that I have to go to NICU & see her. What’s NICU? Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. My heart started beating & I got terrified, smth is wrong with my baby. They assured me there’s nothing wrong with her except that her weight is below average & she has to be under observation. I just started walking, & I’m telling it was really painful but I didn’t care about the pain because I was dying to see her … She was sooooo thin & tiny but healthy el7mdellah!
I returned home 2 days later & the big action started … When I was in the hospital, people were taking care of me, but when I got back home I had to take care of a very fragile baby, not to mention taking care of myself. Thank god my sister took 2 weeks off from her work & was there to help me through this tough phase.
I was so scared to touch her, changing her diapers was really hard coz I was still in pain from my c-section & in the same time i was trying very hard not to harm her. But it was fun
Staying up all night long feeding her every 2 hrs, & snoozing while doing it lol Not being able to sleep properly because of the wound. Getting up/off the bed was really really painful you can’t imagine the pain. & I had to get myself up every now & then at night to feed her … It was really exhausting & painful but worth it.
Post-pregnancy depression kicked in the minute I got back home … I started crying for no reason at all. I keep looking at my baby’s face & cry for hrs … I went to my apartment (which is in the same house, dad’s) & felt overwhelmed, I wanted to go back home, return to my apartment. I keep calling my aunt crying telling her that I want to go back home
Talking about “me time” … dream on new moms I have to find some one to watch her so I can take a quick shower. I check social media networks through my phone for a couple of minutes. Only today, I was able to open my laptop, write a post & arrange some of my baby’s pictures me time is no longer mine ….
The wound started to heal, pain is becoming less now & I’m able to sleep properly like an hr every 4 hrs my body started coping with the little amount of sleep. I dunno about the depression, when will it go away, but I’m hoping soon nshallah!
I know this is only the beginning … more to come nshallah